Make friends with your difficult feelings, part 1

“There is a gas leak in my street and the police is acting very good. They were quickly on the spot, enclosed everything and everyone is removed from the area. I see from my window ten people walking under the tape and discuss aggressively with policemen because they have to walk a few meters more. Then there are a few swearing and spitting because the agents, for their own safety, removes them from the enclosed area.

Really, this makes me very sad. Compliments for the police. I would have lost my self-control a lot sooner… “

What I read in this Facebook message from a girlfriend, is that at many people there is tension. Maybe even at all of us. Personally I recognize it, I see it around me. There’s much good and everyone is often also nice. However, just a little thing happens and it looks like there is lava flowing through your body. This can become a great issue and quickly become destructive. It’s a fine art to stay calm and be patient if there is violence. Well done by those policemen.

Life confronts us with difficult feelings. You can’t get around this. Loneliness, loss, frustration, shame, just to name a few. The impulsive reaction is fight, flight or fright (freeze). Or you fight; you fend off the pain by getting angry and go nuts. You fligh; in running away, chocolate, cigarettes, or another damper for your intense feeling. Or you fright (freese) and are unreachable for yourself and for others. Whether you’re fight, flight or fright, the feeling remains in charge and you are the slave. Also the corresponding thoughts take control. Usually a known victim-or indicted story we tell ourselves time after time.

Pema Chödrön teaches us a loving, conscious way of dealing with pain and tension. Next time, one Saturday, August 13, I will wright about this. Hope to ‘see’ you then.


Photo credits: Pixabay